kristin

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 00:19:34 GMT

Some of the girls

girls in the dorm.. the one on my left is my roomie

cool kid named orrey

crazy wack

me and my friend hillary after follies

me and my roomie caroline

oklahoma sky

i love it here!

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 21:47:48 GMT

I am so friken happy right now. God has just been blessing me beyond what I ever expected! I am so happy at OBU, I totally know that this is where I am supposed to be. I was so scared before I came here cause I didnt know anyone, I had no idea what my room mate would be like, I didnt know if I would make friends, I didnt know if I would totally get screwed in my classes, I didnt know if I'd find a good church, I didnt know if I'd like basketball... there was just so much that I really didnt know and I was really really scared to find out. But seriously, it has been almost a month or so?!? I dunno.. and I am so happy. Everything has worked out perfectly. My roommate and I couldnt be better for eachother, the girls on my hall are all wonderful girls and amazing friends, I have also gotten to know some great guys, so many people love God here, my classes arent necessarily a breeze but they arent going to screw me over.. at least not that I know of, my family is close so if I ever need to go home they are only an hour away, I miss my friends back home but I have a complete peace and I know that they are doing ok and that I can talk to them whenever I want to, basketball is getting better... at first it was a little scary, but its definitely getting better and I really think that it will be fun, I found a great church that I have gone to the past couple weeks.. and I know its kinda soon to make a final decision, but I love this church. Its so much like my old church and so far both times I have gone I have left so refreshed and excited to grow in God more and more during the week. I am just so happy right now. God has blessed me so much and I am so excited about what he is doing in my life. I feel like i have given Him all my worries and my doubts and my thoughts, and I just know that He is going to take care of them. He is going to work everything out perfectly. I have no doubt! I am just so excited to grow even more in Him. He is amazing and I thank Him daily for all that he has done for me!

Just to say to everyone who is still in highschool... seriously, first piece of advice... GO AWAY for college! It is AWESOME! If you dont know anyone its even better! I seriously would not have it any other way.... secondly, pray pray pray pray for God to open the door to where you are supposed to go. Because if you go where He wants you...you will be sooooooo much happier! Just pray and have faith in him and be willing to go where He sends you! Its amazing!!!!

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 02:09:44 GMT

This is me and my room mate caroline!!!

this one too

This is me and my friend Hillary and my room mate!
By the way me and my room mate were seriously meant to be! We get along perfectly! We are soooooo much alike!

The one in the white is named Kristin Anderson too.. weird! and we're on the same hall too!! VERY weird!!

Now there are also very many hot boys.. but well... i didnt want to paste thier pictures in my live journal.. but if you go to my facebook: http://okbu.facebook.com/profile.php?id=79800936...... then you can look at my OBU friends.. and see some of them!! DANG!! Alright well I lvoe it here! Hope all of you are doing well!

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 06:06:09 GMT

HELLO!

i am officially a BISON... yes yes a buffalo. that is our mascot here at Oklahoma Baptist University in Shawnee, Ok. Things are wonderful.. scary but good. My floor is amazing. I love all the girls. Its kinda weird how we all get along so well. And my room mate is fabulous! We are perfect for eachother!

Basketball is going to be a little scary. i havent started yet but I met the girls and well lets just say hopefully they will be more friendly once I get to know them a little better.

I'm really scared about making friends cause i really havent been able to reach outside my floor. Its reallly reallly hard to reach out to people you dont know. There are way hot boys that i just sit there and stare at cause there is no way that I am going to go and talk to them.. and there are girls that look really fun but I just dont know how to be friends with them. But I guess it takes time.. I just have to try to be patient. I just want alot of friends!

Its incredibly HOT here. and HUMID! Its gross! Its like upper 90's but since its so humid its like 100's. As soon as you walk outside you are sweating. Its GROSSSS! But oh well.. what can you do? We have air conditioning so its nice!

I miss my friends... but I am ok. Not that Im not sad and all... but I know it will be ok and I know I can talk to them whenever I want!

There havent been any storms.. well except for one. It was crazy. So we were outside and just all of a sudden these way dark clouds came in and it started thundering and lightning.. but I totally forgot about it once i got into my room... i didnt even pay any attention to it.. I think I will be ok!:)

Alright well that is all for now.. please write me if you want!

OBU Box 60095
500 West University
Shawnee, OK 74804

is this where i am supposed to be?

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 01:16:54 GMT

Wow tomorrow I start college. I have spent the whole week at a friends house with my parents just spending as much time with them as I possibly can before I leave. This is so weird! I am excited.... yet I am just really unsure what to expect and Im really nervous. Everyone says it is going to be a blast... and I guess I believe them but man, I really have no idea how I am going to do. I am still tryin to decide if I like it down here. It is incredibly hot.. which I like but this heat is a little different. Its VERY humid... so as soon as you go outside you feel like youre sweating and you want to go back inside. I am very unsure if I like that. Also supposedly there are LOTS of storms down here. There havent been any yet but there are warnings of some tomorrow! GREAT! My first night at college and theres going to be a huge storm and I am going to freak out. I am just so unsure as to how I feel. I REALLY miss Washington. It makes me really really sad thinking that I dont live there anymore and when I go back there it will be for vacation. That really really scares me and makes me really sad. I love it there. That was my home... and now its not. I dont like that feeling at all. I want to be back there so bad. Ok now Im starting to cry.... I miss washington so much. I didnt have to worry about anything there. I didnt have to worry about thunder and lightning and tornadoes and I always had someone to hang out with. I know I'llmake friends at college but they're not my friends from washington. I miss you guys sooooooooo much and I havent even been gone 2 weeks. I seriously dont know how I am going to make it here. My parents are looking for houses and its just so weird because they live here now. They wont go back to Poulsbo after they drop me off at school. What if they have a tornado at their house and I am far away at school? I hate that thought. I cant say i hate it here becuase I have hardly experienced it but I just hate the thought of not living in Washington. I have lived there my whole life and now I dont. I have had the same friends my whole life and now they're gone.... well at least I wont see them for a really long time. I hate that thought. I am sooooooooooo scared of storms you guys. And they happen here allllllllllll the time. I am going to be far away from my parents all alone with people that I have never met absolutley freaking out... wondering if my parents are okay cause they will be down here too... I just dont know how I am going to do this. I am so scared! Now once I start thinking like this then its like... what if I hate my school? What if everyone is weird? Ahhh Im freaking out... and I just miss my friends soooooooooo much!

Its weird though because lately I have been listening to the radio to the local christian station and three times now I have heard the song... God is in control.... and I know its just a reminder that I know that this is where God wants me or else I wouldnt be here... and I know that this is where my parents are supposed to be because they are soooo happy now and they are doing awesome. But its just such a HUGE change and its really scary cause things are so different. We dont know anyone down here... except for our friends and their family. bUt its like back home we knew sooo many people and had so many friends. I know no one. except for the old people here. its just so weird and I just dont know if I like it... but we'll see how tomorrow goes. God is in control right? I really hope so. If you get time... please pray for me cause I really am freaking out. All of this is really starting to hit me and I am extremely overwhelmed! I love all of you guys and miss you terribly!

freak depressed

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 05:18:43 GMT

wow I'm gone! I am on the road to oklahoma. I had to say goodbye this whole week and I didn't realize what that really meant until I was gone and I was sitting in my truck by myself...thinking I don't know when I will see these people again. but I do know it will be a long time. it makes me so incredibly depressed. I know college will be amazing but I just am not willing to say goodbye to the friends I already have. its like I don't need new friends. I'm sooooo happy the way I am. so basically I'm way freak sad so please feel free to e-mail me whenever because I'd loveto hear from u and I will keep u updated as to how college ends up!

sorry im annoying!

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 07:24:39 GMT

i am bugging everyone! I know it! Im really sorry if I am bugging you and just ignore me if I call you and you dont wanna talk to me! Id rather have you just ignore me than pretend to want to hang out with me!!

Sorry!

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 18:15:48 GMT

ok so last night I got distracted and couldn't finish what I was writing... so you got the part that I still work at the bakery(Sluys Bakery in Poulsbo).. you all should come visit because if you're lucky..you can get something free...which is usually all the time.. just come in the evening!

Yay! The fourth of July is on Monday! anyone got any plans???.... on the third people should come to my house cause its a nice place to get some food, hang out and watch the fireworks in Poulsbo... just an idea!!

I leave for college in less than two months.. to be perfectly honest.. i havent thought about it much lately... Im way excited and I cant wait to meet a bunch of new people...but its kinda sad having to say goodbye as well... I dunno... we'll just have to see. I cant think about it too much right now

DANGIT! Tomorrow my biggest crush in the entire world is getting married... do you know how much that SUCKS!? Wow.... this blows! haha I feel like Im in junior high again... but seriously it does really suck... cause he always told me that we were going to get married!! haha! What a sick liar!

Alright I have to go get ready for work... this has really sucked that work has been my life the past week... Everyday 11-7 except Tuesday... now that is a LONG day.. oh and today and tomorrow 12- 8:30.... Dangit Im getting screwed.. and its been somewhat decent outside and I have missed it because I have been inside the gay bakery eating and sweating cause its sooooo hot in there!
Alright peace out!

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 06:18:27 GMT

not much going on... just working at the bakery.. it is sooooooooooo hard not to eat the treats..at first it was really easy and i wasnt interested at all.. but now i am really curious to see what they taste like so I crave it all... everything is soooooo good! But im trying to work out every day too... doubt its working! oh well.. im out... like i said not much else is happening!

crazy emotions

Wed, 25 May 2005 18:14:47 GMT

Its just one of those days where I really need to write and express my feelings. All of a sudden all my emotions have changed drastically. For the longest time I have been so excited to leave and go to college and get away from here cause Im sick of it and go and meet new people and all that.. and I just havent been sad AT ALL! Like it was kinda weirding me out becuase I wasnt sad. And talking about senior chapel and crying and stuff and I was just like how could I cry? Im not sad.... that is until this morning. Im driving to school and I just started thinking.. wow this is the last wednesday I will say goodbye to my mom who hands me my lunch and kisses me good bye and I drive to school and then drive home after school and eat dinner that my mom makes me... and then I get into Mr. Walker's class and hes like so are you going to play any summer ball to get into shape cause you know you are going to want to be in really really good shape if you're going to play college ball... then I started to get really scared. First of all I have to say goodbye to my paretns soon... move to Oklahoma a bazillion miles away from my home, start over totally. Probably never see half of my class ever again. and then to play basketball on top of that. I have NO idea what to expect. I will get my butt kicked thats for sure and have to go to practice every day for 2 plus hours... and i could go on for ever... its just all my reasons for not playing have come back again... and they're haunting me... I have to sign sometime this week.. so its not too late to not play... but I just dont know. Im just scared. Im scared about leaving, Im scared about playing basketball... Im scared of change.. and yet I really want it. I am ready to move on. I just dont want to be stressed when Im at school. I want it to be fun. I want to study athletic training... I want to meet amazingly, fun girlfriends like the ones I have now... and HOT, christian boys... I just want college to be fun with the least amount of stress possible. My emotions are going crazy right now.... and I dont know why cause its not like its that time or anything... This is just a huge week, full of stress and emotions... actually the next three weeks are going to be like that. I have been working all week this week everyday... and I love work... its just I havent been able to do anything else. I feel like I have gained 900 pounds cause I havent excersized at all... I havent done any graduation gifts... I havent written in my real journal forever.. and that kinda stresses me out.. cause I like doing that... I have so much to do... but seriously no time. I want to hang out with my friends this summer... but i have different groups...and thats really hard to hang out with each group separately... SHOOT! I have a vocab test today too... CRAP! I need to go study.. anyways, Im scared, Im stressed, Im sad!

College update!

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 20:21:34 GMT

Its been a while... Lots has changed. I am in the HUGEST dilemma ever in the whole world. I leave for Ukraine on MOnday which i am pooping my pants about.. but then 2 days after I get back I am supposed to go down to Western Baptist and try out with the team. BUT... the question is... IS that really where I want to go? I have been having TONS of doubts about playing basketball in college and then that has made me think.. well then why would I go to Western Baptist if Im not going to play? They dont have my major, its in Salem where there really is not a whole lot to do, its WAY small, and well pretty much the only reason I would go there is for basketball.. and what happens if I got hurt? Then Im screwed.. But then its like well no one else is even interested in me playing for them, so that would mean if I didnt even consider Western Baptist, then I dont even have a chance of getting any scholarship and I most likely wont play. Now part of me is saying.. wow that sounds kinda nice cause well there are many reasons. I am not competitve AT ALL, I hate working hard trying to prove myself, I want a social life in college, I dont want to make such a huge committment( 3 hours a day, 9 months out of the year) to basketball, the only reason I have ever played is because it has come some what easy, its fun playing in games, and I really have not had to work extremely hard but I got excersize!! Haha that sound horrible.. So pretty much im really lazy, but I can just really see myself being miserable doing that. I have heard that you know you make a bunch of awesome new friends and its really fun traveling and all... but i think i can do that in other places... So then theres the other side to it tho.. my dad and my brothers are so for me playing basketball. They think I would just do awesome and that I totally can do it blah blah... and even Garrett once told me that I am fulfilling his dream of playing.. WOW! A little more pressure please.. Now obviously they will support me in what ever I choose.. but I just dont want to disappoint anyone. I dont want to disappoint Mr. Hanley. He has helped me so much try to get lined up with coaches and all.. I dont want to disappoint all the people that have totally supported me the past couple years cause everyone thinks I am going to play next year... but i just dont know if I can. I really dont know if it is what I want to do. I think at this moment.. the perfect senario... Go to Biola, live in LA, make friends with the people in my dorm and all the new people that I will meet, play intramurals, study athletic training and health education, work out in the gym, and have the regular college social life. I dont want to have to go to bed early just cause I have practice the next day! Seriously... i think i HATE practice more than anything in the whole world.. and having to go for like 3 hours EVERY DAY? Are you kidding me? I want to shoot myself! (not really) but seriously, Im freaking out! Now when I get back from Ukraine I leave for WBC then I get back from there and a day later go to Oklahoma to visit Oklahoma Baptist.. Im really excited to go there cause I just want to see what its like. I could go there. That would be an adventure! And a great thing about OBU is that its like $10,000 CHEAPER! Thats a bad thing about Biola.. Its pretty spendy.. and I know that really isnt an issue cause God will provide.. but still.. It kinda freaks me out! So I dunno.. Should I even go try out for Western Baptist or should I just relax those days and get ready to go to OBU? Ahh this is soo hard.. Im tearing up! I cant figure it out.. I prayed this morning that God would give me a clear sign.. and I think He just did... Im sitting here in class.. writing this and seriously.. Not going to WBC sounds so good.. I just thought.. you know when I get back from UKraine, I am not going to want to go directly to oregon to work my butt off and try to show off my skills! I am going to want to stay home and cry cuase I am going to miss Ukraine so much.. I dunno... I think I have to make this decision.. I seriously am going to explode right now... I am so unsure and yet I just have this feeling.. is this a feeling from God? I dunno.. it kinda feels like it though....

Please pray for me.. Im going crazy!!!!!!

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 20:16:55 GMT

Its been a while...I have been thinking about a friend of mine alot lately.. I really really miss him, but i dont feel like I can hang out with him right now. It just doesnt seem like the right timing... but i really miss talking to him and I just hope he knows that I really really care about him, although it might not seem like it, I really do and I think about him all the time. I saw someone who looked like him this weekend, and it just made me want to talk to him and see him. Hes a good guy and I miss having conversations with him! I just really hope he is doing well!

I visited western Baptist this past weekend.. and i really really want to go there.. like more than anywhere else.. but i also really want to play basketball there. I dont want to play anywhere else and I dont want to go there unless I play.. well not necessarily.. but being able to play there would make it about 1000000000 times better. I love it there and I can totally see myself going there. I just hope and pray that it is Gods will that I get a bball scholarship. But who knows.. its excited to see what God has instore for me. Its weird how thinking about college and where I want to go and how there are things about western baptist that I am unsure about.. but i just have a peace about it all.. like they dont really have my exact major... but for some reason that doesnt really matter to me.. it will all work out.. or at least I hope so. God is good though. I have a peace about it and I really really want to go there! I am excited for college! YAHOO!

The notebook is out! OH MY GOODnESS! All boys need to watch it to see how to treat a girl and how to get a girl and how to sweep her off her feet.. and just to experience it. It truly is the best love story I have ever seen! ABSOLUTE MONEY! YES! Alright Im out.....

grounded

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 03:20:12 GMT

DANGIT! Im grounded... well i cant have the car for 2 weeks unless I am going to practice, school or a game and I have to be home by 10 every night.. how GAY is that! DANGIT! But last night was totally worth it.. I had sooooooooo much fun!I hung out with Kyle and Aimee and Brian and Chase.. It was a blast! It was good to get a glimpse of new people.. not that i dont like the people that I usually hang out with.. but it was good getting away for a while.. it definitely helped..

GUESS WHAT! I got accepted to Western Baptist.. and I kinda wanna go there.. its so weird tho cause I have always been totally against it.. but recently it has been sounding pretty dang good! I am very very excited!

But Im still grounded and that sucks! UHHHHHHHHHH.......

new years

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 20:13:27 GMT

My new years resolution (I finally figured it out): TO STOP FREAKING OUT OVER STUPID LITTLE THINGS.... and .....TO STOP TRYING TO BE IN CONTROL OF OTHER PEOPLE

marriage, friends, school, and THE NOTEBOOK!

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 07:43:42 GMT

Everyone is getting married!... I know of at least five people off the top of my head that got engaged recently! Being around the people makes me want to wait so bad. I can compare them to eachother and seeing the love between some of them, compared to the love between others, just makes me want to wait for real love and not anything less than that. God has the perfect timing.

On to another thought. I have been having a good time hanging out with people that graduated last year. Its just been fun to have it be like old times. Today I went to Bens house and hung out with him, Cody, Jordan, Drew, Ron and Heidi(for a few minutes). But seeing them all together again was so much fun. Its just gonna be so weird next year at this time, me and my close friends now will be doing the same thing. I wonder what it will be like.

Speaking of college, ya dont know whats gonna happen. Yes I do have a peace about everything, and I KNOW it will work out, but it sucks to know that I most likely wont get in to where I wanna go.. What a bummer.. but the I just have to remember that its obviously not where I am supposed to go! Hey I wanna know where everyone else is looking at for school... let me know where you are looking.. I would love to know!:)

Im out.. gonna go read my new book that I got for Christmas...."The Notebook"... AHHH the best book in the entire world!!!!! Cant wait til the movie comes out!!!!! YES!!!!

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 08:38:03 GMT

Im WAY bored... so I decided to do this little thingy.. sorry if you're totally bored~

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Kristin
2. Sir
3. Muff

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Muphy501
2. thats all
3.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: hmmm
1. my eyes
2. i like how i like to give
3. my friends.. thats a part of me

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my craving to be wanted..insecurity
2. always getting cold sores
3. my jealousyness

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Thunder and lightning
2. close people dying
3. not getting married

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Gum
2. carmex
3. makeup

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. khaki pants
2. gray sweater
3. LIVE STRONG bracelet! YES!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
1. honestly... dont ask me that question
2.
3.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Since its Christmas... "Mary Did You Know?"
2. #5 on the Britney remix cd
3. theres so many more i cant decide right now

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Know where I am going to college
2. Meet a BUNCH of new people
3. make a bazillion fun memories

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Friendship...(thanks Benny)
2. Mutual feelings
3. God

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE- no order:
1. I have never done anything I regret
2. I love acapella
3. I really dont want to say goodbye

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. lips
2. clothes
3. arms

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. litter
2. dance
3. be purposely mean to someone

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. going to/watching movies
2. playing basketball
3. being with friends and taking pictures

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. get married
2. be an athletic trainer
3. cuddle

THREE CAREERS (lifestles) YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Athletic Trainer
2. Teacher
3. Stay at home mom/wife

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe!
2. Hawaii
3. Jamaica

THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Madelyne
2. Treven
3. Shaelyn

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get married
2. have kids
3. Travel

these songs made me think

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:39:34 GMT

Now I’m thinkin’ you and me was a mistake
(But then it hits me and I’m missin’ all the love we
made)
I know that we’ve been goin’ through some
things, yeah
(But the sun is always shinin’ even when it rains, oh)

I’ll be the one you kick it to
I’ll be the one that misses you
I’ll be the one to ease your pain
I’ll be the one you’ll want to gain
And you’ll be the one who can’t forget
You’ll be the one that’s innocent
You’ll be the one I can’t hide
You’ll be the one that makes me cry, baby

How you gonna up and leave me now (Why you do)
How you gonna act like that (Why you gotta act like
that)
How you gonna change it up (Whoa, ho, baby), we just
finished makin’ up
How you gonna act like that (But I need you)

How you gonna act like we (Oh) don’t be makin’ love

That song and....

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath
You took right in front of me
When you said that you would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you
Or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps
Playing in my head
Over and over again
It play in my head
Over and over again...

Cause it's all in my head
I think about it
Over and over again
And I can't keep
Picturing you with "her"
And it hurts so bad
Yeah, cause it's all in my head
I think about it
Over and over again
I replay it
Over and over again
And I can't take it
I can't shake it, no

Now that I realize
That I'm going down
From all this pain you
Put me through
Everytime I close my eyes
I like it down
Oh, I can't go on not loving you

Cause it's all in my head
I think about it
Over and over again
And I can't keep
Picturing you with "her"
And it hurts so bad
Yeah, cause it's all in my head
I think about it
Over and over again
I replay it
Over and over again
And I can't take it
I can't shake it, no

amazing....

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 05:27:50 GMT

You know what amazes me? The difference between man and woman. It truly just boggles my mind because we are SOOO different! I have no idea what goes on through the man's mind.. all I know is that it is SOOO different than what goes on in the woman's mind. I have lots of questions tho.. if your a guy and you feel like answering questions.. let me know!

cant wait!

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 17:04:19 GMT

All I have to say is I cant wait to find someone who will actually love me or like me or whatever no matter what I wear, look like, act like, smell like, feel like anything.. NO MATTER WHAT!

Thank you Jesus

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 03:10:13 GMT

Dear God,
Thank you so much for:

My parents who drop everything they want to do just for me and my brothers

My Brothers who are my number one fans

My extended family- everytime we are together we have such a blast!

My house that is warm and cozy and a shelter from the cold

Basketball- I absolutely love playing it. Thank you for the ability to play!

My school- I love it so much and am so grateful for being able to go there.

My friends:
Casey- I can be as weird as I can be around her and can always count on having the best time ever
Aly- I can tell her ANYTHING! and she will ALWAYS listen
Amanda- She always understands by boy problems.. and she always listens to me
Taryn-No matter what we end up doing, we always laugh so hard we almost pee ourselves
Drew- I can ALWAYS talk to him and he is always there making me laugh and making me feel special
Jesse- Just hanging out with him is guaranteed a GREAT time!
Adam- he always makes me laugh
Erik- No matter how annoying I am he always puts up with me
Bryan- He is always full of good advice and goofy ideas!
Erin F- always putting up with my meanness
Erin M- Always willing to listen to my problems
ALl the seniors from last year- each one of them has a Special place in my heart
And every other person that i know.. I love them so much and thank God for each and every one of them!

God thanks so much for all that you have blessed me with. I do not deserve any of it and yet you still bless me daily! Thank you!

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 02:28:58 GMT

Im kinda sad tonight.

I miss:

Drew
the good times at the end of the summer
cuddling
my brothers
my "lover" ;)
Sir
Aimee
Hanging out with Aly
Miss Smith-she made English fun
being sneaky when other people were around
tanning every day
Grangie
Manda Hart
basically all the seniors
last year.. i like this one.. but i still miss the last one
Performance Company.. miss it like crazy!
Julia Tooth
hanging out with Steve and Robert
Pastor Barry and Pastor DeGraaff
smooth legs... my legs are FAR from being smooth
Algebra 2.. with mr. dittmer and tim grey
the one who made me love basketball
Basketball state
Track state
my basketball team last year

many more.. im just gonna start crying if i keep going..

i have the best friends in the whole world!

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:27:05 GMT

I have the best friends in the WHOLE world! This weekend was such a fun weekend.. and I was practically stuck at home with a HUGE incision in my chest that was absolutely killing me and feeling way sick from the drugs I was on.. and yet this weekend was a blast! My friends came over every day and hung out with me and watched movies with me. It was such a good weekend. Then on Saturday I was finally allowed to leave my house and we all went out to dinner and to Bens house to watch a movie and it was just a good time being with all my friends. I love you guys so much and I LOVE HAVING DREW HOME! THat just made my weekend 10 times better! Thanks to all of you for coming and hanging out with me! I love you soooo much!

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASEY JANE SIR WEENER FACE CRACK-WHORE!

im sad

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 22:51:45 GMT

SO much drama..
I hate not knowing what people think sometimes.. It really gets to me! First of all, the Juniors. Honestly, I love them... but why do they hate ME so much? I dont get it. What did I do to offend them? And it all started like a week ago? What did I do? I dont want them to be upset with me! I love all of them. Ya I dont know some of them that well.. and well then why do they hate me when first of all some of them dont even know me.. and those that do... why are they so upset? Just because I like Kings West and they dont.. well I just dont think thats a good enough reason to hate me and to be so rude to me and my friends.. Im so sorry if I did anything. It totally is not my intention to offend you guys in any sort of way. Some of you I care about more than anyone else I know, and I just dont want you guys to hate where you are so much, not saying that you have to love Kings West, but make yourselves have a good time. Make it fun.. cause its going to suck even more if you dont try to enjoy it.. I love you guys so much.. Im so sorry for whatever I did!

I just hate not knowing what is going on and what people are thinking sometimes. And this goes not just for the juniors but in other stuff thats going on. I just wish people would be flat out honest and not just play games. ERRRR!

I am scared for Wednesday. I have a tumor in my left chestal area..and I have to get it removed. Im nervous. They dont think its cancer but they dont know for sure so they have to take it out. But I know God is in control and I know that he wont give me something I cant handle.

im emotionally and physically drained

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 05:04:42 GMT

My emotions are going crazy! I leave a 1 am to go to Pennsylvania to visit a school there and to see my sister(not really but shes like one to me). I am way excited to see her but Im freaking out.. I HATE riding plane by myself and I have really really long layovers. Im freaking out.. but also, its like Im excited to see my friend but it just feels like a not good time to go. Homecoming is coming up and I am stressed with planning it and all the crap that is going on with Spirit week and the floats and all.. AHH soooo frustrating.. and I just want it to be perfect.. I want the night to be perfect. Not only though do I want things to work out just with Homecoming plans and stuff, but with it being MY last homecoming and I just want it to be a blast! I couldnt be going with anyone better, we are taking a limo with 8 other AWESOME people. I am going to Tacoma to get ready and I am really really excited, but I just really hope that it is perfect. I want the night to be perfect.... but then I feel that its not going to be what I want.

I have gotten attached and I really dont think its a good thing. Now I am hearing that people are upset about it and that just makes it even worse. I HAVE NO IDEA what is going on and I just really want to know, b/c right now the way I am feeling, my heart is going to be broken. I can just feel it. But then again, I am just soooo confused. I wish I wasnt leaving so that i can figure things out. DANGIT!

Oh well, there is obviously a reason that I am leaving. Hopefully good things will happen this week with homecoming plans, and all that crap and I cant wait to come back and finish up a bunch of stuff, and work things out emotionally.. but i guess for now, my emotions are going on hold for a while.. I dont know how thats going to happen tho.. oh well...

Wow.. im stressed~

wow.. what is wrong with me?

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 18:46:57 GMT

I went to church this morning in california with my family and I saw all these couples.. Why am I such suckers for romance and boys and all that crap? Cause I REALLY am. Its bad. I just get sick to my stomach every time I hear "they're engaged" or "ya, hes my best friend" or "this is MY boyfriend" or "I love him" or "When are they getting married?" Just all of that.. I just want it SOOOOO bad! Why tho? Havent I written many entries about this? Ya I really have.. But I am just so confused as to why I want that so bad? Am I not satisfied with my self? Uhh noo.. I can be independent... i think.. is my walk with God not really very strong?.. well no.. It really is.. at least it is growing. It can always use work tho. But I am just so confused. To be perfectly honest.. there is not one thing in this world that I want more than love. NOTHING! It is soooooo hard for me to keep trusting God that he has someone out there for me and I will find him someday.. well I know there is someone out there.. I know that for a fact.. BUT when is he coming? When am I going to meet him? When am i going to look into his eyes and know? Do I already know him? Have I seen him before? I know Im only 17.. but still? Why cant I wait? What is wrong with me? And its not that I want anything physical AT ALL.. thats not what I want.. its love.. its the relationship. Its caring about someone so much.. and having them care about you just as much. Thats what i want. I want someone to know me better than I know myself...and I want to know someone better than they know themself.(wow did I just describe how God feels about me? ya i really did.. why cant I be satisfied with that? Wow I am selfish!)..anyways,I could go on forever.. Why is this tho? What causes these feelings? Why do I care so much? i am so worried about the future.. I need to just worry about each day and take each day one step at a time and enjoy every moment.. cause these times will never come again. I need to stop worrying about the future. I know it will come and i know it will come fast.... but...(theres always a but)...I just want to know.. I just want to be in that time.. of being in love..

Being around all these college people.. I just get excited.. and I get curious..